


So Come On

by McSpot



Series: Bear With Me [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Bear Jail, Gen, Magic, Misunderstandings, Washington Capitals, Were-Creatures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29575770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McSpot/pseuds/McSpot
Summary: Bruins captains are cursed to turn into bears.  It's their painful, solemn burden to bear, and Zdeno has resigned himself to carrying it with him for the rest of his life.Brenden Dillon teaches him that there's a better way to live.
Series: Bear With Me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173029
Comments: 57
Kudos: 139





	So Come On

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Need You So Much Closer](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29554431) by [Worlds_Okayest_Goalie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worlds_Okayest_Goalie/pseuds/Worlds_Okayest_Goalie). 



> Fully inspired by Worlds_Okayest_Goalie's fic "I Need You So Much Closer" and you need to read that to understand this. I was already hankering for some Chara fic and if I can't read it, I'll write it myself, and this was the perfect setup for a Chara fic. This takes place in a handwavey 2020-21 season if there was no covid.
> 
> Working title of this fic was Bear Jail, for reasons that will quickly become apparent and also because that's what we call it when my dog is wet and has to stay in the kitchen and stares mopily through the baby gates at you because she's TRAPPED.  
> I wrote this all in the past six hours, unedited, etc.

"This is the captain's burden to bear."

Zdeno had known that the older the team, the more likely that they had secrets to hide. Walking into a captaincy on an Original Six team was a promise that he'd now be expected to safeguard a few mysteries that beat writers could only theorize about.

He'd just expected to hear more about where the bodies were buried and less about, well...

Given the nature of the Bruins' secret, it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities that there _were_ bodies to hide.

"It's our great and terrible secret that we carry to the grave," Ray Bourque had told him. They'd brought him in to give this speech because Joe Thornton had gone to San Jose last season and was, per Bruins management, "unavailable to give the on-boarding speech."

It didn't take much intuition to gather that Thornton was less "unavailable" than he was "uninterested," but Zdeno couldn't blame him: he wasn't sure he'd be feeling very charitable towards his old franchise if he'd left them on the same terms as Thornton had left Boston.

But as the explanation went on, Zdeno came to a new theory, equally as plausible: perhaps Joe Thornton wasn't interested in attempting to explain to his replacement just how it came to be that the captains of the Boston Bruins were cursed to turn into bears in perpetuity because of some sin committed by Sprague Cleghorn.

Just imagining being asked to give this speech to someone else one day was giving Zdeno heart palpitations.

"We're only bears in times of great emotion," Bourque said, "But just as our teammates take cues from their captain, our emotions can impact our teammates as well – and the curse can spread."

Because it wasn't terrifying enough, to hear that he would, likely soon after the season began, start sporadically and unpredictably transforming into a mindless man-eating beast, but now Zdeno had to have it on his conscience that he could potentially spread this curse like an infection to any well-meaning teammates who attempted to aid him during times when the curse was active.

"They let me choose my own As when I was here," Bourque said, "And I had a serious talk with the guys ahead of time about what would be expected of them if they tried to help me as the bear...and what they should expect for themselves. If they spend time with the bear, even just trying to keep it contained, there's a strong chance they'll start transforming too. It usually goes away when they leave the team, for them, but we carry it forever."

He'd grimaced as he'd said this, looked down and away like he was admitting his deepest shame.

"Did you know before you became captain?" Zdeno had asked softly.

Bourque nodded. "Yeah. I knew what I was getting in to. But it was worth it, to get to be the captain of this team for as long as I was. The bear is...it's not easy, and I hate that my teammates had to deal with it, and my wife still has to deal with it. But this team was worth it. It was an honor to be their captain, thorns and all."

 _Claws and all_ , Zdeno mused darkly.

The bear was everything Zdeno had been warned about. It came out after his first bad loss with the team, after he spent a full hour of media availability feeling like he was going to explode out of his skin if another microphone was shoved in his face by a reporter asking if he was disappointed that they'd lost. It was a feeling that Zdeno would usually associate with an adrenaline rush, with a need to go ride a few miles on a bike or beat the shit out of a punching bag, but he could feel it bubbling up inside of him with each passing second.

There was a raging beast inside of him, and it wanted out.

It felt like a miracle that he managed to get himself to the safe room in time. Bourque had taken him there, introduced him to it, a dimly-lit windowless room down a rarely-used hallway in the arena's basement, made more foreboding by the fact that it looked like this hall was no longer used for anything but this purpose. Even maintenance must not have come down this way often, because there were cobwebs on the flickering lights and every door they passed looked like the type of storage that hadn't been accessed in years.

"It's safer this way," Bourque had said. The heavy door groaned on its rusting hinges as he shoved it open.

The first thing that hit Zdeno when he'd walked in was the sheer musk of it, what had to be decades' worth of animal sweat and grime sunken into the torn gym mats covering the floor and walls.

Bourque had grimaced. "It's a means to an end. We don't like to have maintenance try to take care of any of this in case it...well, in case the scents would upset the bears. So when the mats get really destroyed we try to replace them ourselves."

That was plain to see: some of them were haphazardly nailed to the walls and others were barely tacked down at all.

This did not look like a restful, safe place for an anxious animal born of sadness and distress. It looked like a prison cell for an insane, slavering beast that couldn't be trusted not to destroy everything in its path.

Looking at the shredded mats, destruction seemed to be the bear's number one activity.

The only thing that was "safe" about the room was the lock on the door. It was industrial, with multiple deadbolts that had to be turned in a full rotation to unlock them – something that a human could easily manage, but a bear could not.

The safe room was not to make the bear feel safe; it was for the humans trying to avoid it.

Walking in by himself for the first time felt like damning himself to perdition before he'd even committed the crime, but his racing pulse and shaking hands said that it wouldn't be long now. He carefully turned the locks, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and...

He woke up flat on his back, staring up at a dead fly trapped in the cover of the fluorescent light overhead. God only knew how long it had been there. It didn't feel like anything could be alive down here.

When he sat up, he could tell why that was:

Two of the mats were fully pulled from the wall, completely torn into shreds of rubberized vinyl and cheap recycled stuffing, strewn all about the room. The wall behind the mats had been gruesomely marred by a series of clearly-defined claw marks, and the dents...it was as if a great monster had been slamming repeatedly against the wall, ready to maim itself to escape.

And the way Zdeno hissed as he tried to stand, the lurid purple bruising all down his left arm and shoulder, left no illusions as to whom, exactly, that monster had been.

Zdeno swore to himself on that day that he would do his damnedest to keep his teammates safe from this beast, if it was the last thing he did.

The other Bruins knew about the bear, or at least they were told enough to keep the distance. Just as Bourque had recommended, Zdeno sat down with his alternates to explain to them what their responsibility would be. If he were to transform anywhere but the safe room, they would be expected to intervene...and doing so might eventually transform them into a bear themselves.

"It's not my first rodeo," Glen Murray had said, having already been an alternate captain in previous years. He did a little sideways head nod like it pained him to admit it, and then added, "It doesn't happen much, but...I've been the bear before too."

He was the first teammate to disclose that, and Zdeno had to admit it surprised him; clearly it surprised Patrice as well, given the bug-eyed way he stared at Glen. But then, as if he noticed Zdeno watching him, Patrice schooled his expression and straightened his shoulders.

"I'm not afraid," he said with the sort of stoic confidence that a twenty-one year old shouldn't have needed. "I'm willing to take whatever risks necessary to help this team."

It was a good thing Patrice was so dogged in his loyalty to the team, because he was a bear by the end of the year.

They made it work. Whatever offense Cleghorn committed when he left the Habs, Zdeno felt assured that the Bruins had more than paid for it over the years if it was always like this. He had no recollection of his time as the bear, except for a blur of sense memories: the scent of dust and mold; the buzzing, stuttering hum of those damnable fluorescents; the dry, bitter taste of the padding in his mouth; and the feeling of _fear_ and _hurt_ and _rage_ , and it wasn't just his. The emotions had sunk into the walls, into the very foundations of the room, until all the bear remembered was the way the safe room positively screamed its fruitless, impotent wrath.

It wasn't so bad when one of the other bears was with him, or at least Zdeno didn't remember the rage so strongly, and the padding on the wall was remarkably unscathed. But the Bruins did their damnedest to avoid creating more bears than were absolutely necessary.

There were some, like Andrew Ference, who were an utter blessing, taking to the bear with the sort of casual aplomb that left Zdeno near tears on some of the worst days, so relieved to have at least one person who wasn't frightened of him, wasn't walking on eggshells around him in some sort of respectful horror, awed at his sacrifice and terrified of becoming like him if they got too close. Ference had said, "I like bears," and had never once shown fear of becoming one himself, and Zdeno couldn't remember the last time he'd experienced such easy acceptance and camaraderie.

And then there were others, like Tim Thomas, who treated Zdeno as if he carried the plague even in his human form, who treated the captain's curse like a moral affliction and made it well-known that he disapproved and had zero plans of becoming infected himself.

Players came and went, and a handful of bears came and went. Patrice remained that steady, solemn support that his twenty-one year old self had promised, though he ended up joining Zdeno in the safe room more often than not as the years went on, as the team dealt with the soaring highs of winning the Cup and the crushing heartbreak of losing it all in the playoffs. They all knew that Patrice would be the next captain of the Bruins when Zdeno retired, and Zdeno had to admit he was relieved: Patrice already knew the bear, had been the bear for over a decade, and he knew exactly what life he was signing up for. He had seen what Zdeno had gone through, was still going through, and he was willing to face it head on.

If anything, Zdeno liked to think that the bear was a good indicator of leadership skills, and Patrice had them in spades. The team would be in safe hands when Zdeno retired.

Except.

Except that Zdeno didn't retire from the Boston Bruins as planned. The Bruins decided they were moving on from him, decided that his years of strife as the bear for them weren't worth all that much when it came to their desire to "go in a different direction," and Zdeno was left high and dry in search of a new team.

He was right, that Patrice made for a great captain for the Bruins and that his knowledge of the bear had prepared him for the role.

"At least if it's me, then nobody else has to be infected," Patrice had confided in him, and Zdeno couldn't say that he disagreed, as uncharitable as it sounded.

He didn't point out that he and Patrice had done a good job of keeping each other in line over the years, that Krej and Marchy might already be bears _but it might not be enough_.

The one thing you never could predict was how the bear would react in a new situation.

But that was what Zdeno was dealing with in coming to the Caps. He was walking onto an unknown team that most assuredly had no familiarity with the deep dark secret of the Boston Bruins, and he had to find a way to keep them safe from the bear without letting anyone know it existed.

Most former Bruins captains retired or left the league shortly after they left the team. Zdeno was fairly sure at this point that they had to retire because of the bear, because they couldn't handle the stress of hiding the transformations from their teams – and God knows, hockey was a stressful sport, a stressful lifestyle, and the bear must have been triggered a lot.

The only captain he knew of who had left the Bruins and continued playing for a substantial period of time was Thornton himself. Zdeno still had never spoken to him about his role as the bear, even fifteen years later, but he had an inkling of what had happened in San Jose.

Tommy Wingels had shown up in Boston with a smile on his face and a bear in his soul, thrilled to come from Chicago to a team "that has people like me." Because apparently, the San Jose Sharks knew about Thornton, and the captain's curse was still active even on another team.

And unlike the players who lost the bear when they left Boston, the players cursed by Thornton while on the Sharks didn't lose the curse when they left.

"Oh, we're everywhere by now," Wingels had said with that damnable, self-assured smile, and Zdeno had stared and stared at that smile and wondered if he was supposed to tell Wingels that you don't smile when you sentence dozens of men to death.

Because that's what this was, a life sentence, the kind that tore apart your home and your relationships and your mind. For the average Bruins player, the bear might have been something they had to endure with the team, but for a captain – for a captain, it was divorce, it was your kids not wanting to visit you on the weekends, it was alcohol and drugs and giving a tight-lipped smile at alumni events and telling everyone that yes, it was worth it, yes, you're proud of being a captain, because if you weren't proud, if you weren't glad you'd done it, then why the fuck had you let this team destroy your life?

It had to be worth it. When the bear took away everything you loved, then the team, the honor of the captaincy and the glory of wearing that spoked B, had to be worth it.

Zdeno sat there on his first day of training camp in Washington, watching the Capitals bounce off of each other and exchange bizarrely complicated handshakes, watching Ovechkin holding court as he gleefully greeted each of his players like a long-lost brother, and wondered if it really had been worth it. To sit in a crowded room and always know that you were _other_ , that you were evil and wrong, to know that you were the lurking danger that others had to be protected from, even if they didn't know it.

He wondered if it was worth it when he had to purchase his new house not on the basis of location or the beautiful picture windows but because it had a solid concrete root cellar on the property with a sturdy door on which he could install multiple locks.

"Man, am I glad you're here."

Zdeno startled when Brenden Dillon's hand settled on his shoulder, giving it a familiar squeeze as if they were old friends and were not just meeting for the first time.

New players on the Bruins were warned to be careful of Zdeno before they met him, so that they could make an informed decision about being near him, even if the curse didn't typically spread without direct exposure to the bear.

He couldn't remember the last time a new teammate had greeted him like this. Since Ottawa, possibly, if it had ever happened at all.

Zdeno stared at Dilly for a beat too long, because Dilly raised his eyebrows in what he probably thought was a meaningful way and grinned. "Us bears gotta stick together, eh?"

The words came over him like a crush of icy water, carrying with them flickering memories of Tommy Wingels wearing that same smile. As if their shared affliction was welcome news.

In a choked voice, Zdeno asked, "Is everyone in San Jose a bear?"

Dillon actually thought about it, tilting his head to the side and pursing his lips. "I mean, obviously not _everyone_ but like. I'd say a decent chunk."

He didn't sound bothered, didn't sound like he had any idea of how Zdeno's stomach revolted at the thought. They'd been so careful in Boston, _so so careful_ , but was this what happened when you went to a different team, a team that didn't know to protect themselves?

How did Thornton live with himself?

 _"Why?_ " Zdeno hissed, because it had to be asked.

Dilly frowned, looking more confused than scared. It certainly wasn't the reaction anyone would have had to him in Boston.

"Well, it's not like they tell you on your first day," he said, like that was what Zdeno was concerned about – which he hadn't been, but now he was, because if you didn't warn people, how could they protect themselves?

"They keep it a secret for a bit, ease people into it, but guys usually find out sooner or later and then they're all like, _ahh, why didn't you tell me, this is so sick!_ " He raised his voice in, apparently, an impression of someone discovering bears for the first time. "And so like most people at least want to get in on the cuddles if they don't want to be a bear outright and like, we're all bears in the end, you know?"

No, Zdeno absolutely did not know, because he was still stuck on the part where Dillon made it sound like people were _jealous_ of not getting to be a bear.

"I don't understand," he croaked. His nails were digging into his palm, and he had to force himself to take a deep breath and relax. He didn't have a place to transform in the arena, and he had to be on his absolute best behavior until he could get home and lock himself in the cellar where it was safe. He couldn't let himself get too upset.

The way Dilly frowned at him made Zdeno feel twenty years younger and just as pathetic. He sat down next to Zdeno, keeping his hand on Zdeno's shoulder like he was going to have a heart-to-heart with him in the middle of the dressing room.

"What part's confusing?"

"All of it." At Dilly's continued nonplussed expression, Zdeno picked something at random. " _Cuddles?_ Why would you trust the bear not to hurt people?"

Dillon laughed. He fucking _laughed_. "Bears don't hurt people. Well. Part-time bears don't."

" _Part-time?_ "

"I mean, I can't speak for wild full-time bears, I'm sure they'll do some damage if they feel threatened, but like – none of the bears I've ever known have ever tried to hurt anyone. Burnzie gets a bit grumbly if he's hungry and Eddie growls a lot but it's more like old-man complaining than like, actually being mad or something. Everyone was always really good with the cubs, too – God, you should see Mario, he shifted for the first time _super_ early not long after I left, and he's like, the tiniest fucking thing – here, I have pictures-"

He started to pull out his phone, presumably to show Zdeno those pictures of someone named Mario – a _cub_ , they had a name for turning your young teammates into a monster – but something on Zdeno's face must have caught his attention, because his movements slowed and his face went slack.

"Is that...not what it was like in Boston?"

Zdeno shook his head slowly. "Did- what did Thornton tell you?"

God, he should have asked someone for Thornton's phone number years ago.

"Um, I don't think he ever really did? Patty – Patrick Marleau – would only say that it was bad and that Joe doesn't like to talk about it. Was, um..."

He ducked his head and leaned in close, as if this part had to be a secret just between the two of them, as if their whole conversation wasn't far too public in the middle of the dressing room with TJ Oshie smacking people on the ass just a few feet away from them.

"Was Boston bad for you too?" Dilly whispered.

"It was worth it," Zdeno replied, response rote and ingrained, because no matter how bad it got, it was always worth it. The bear had let him lead the Bruins to the Stanley Cup for the first time in nearly forty years, and he'd always be proud of that. He was proud of what he'd done with the Bruins, was proud to have played with so many talented teammates. He didn't regret captaining the Boston Bruins, no matter the implications of the bear.

But Dilly was shaking his head again. "But it was _bad_? Why was it bad? Like, were people dicks about it?"

Sometimes, but that was never the primary issue. "What about the bear _isn't_ bad?"

Dilly reared back like he'd been slapped. "Um, any of it?" His voice was high, a little reedy, definitely out of his element. "I mean...you don't like it?"

Zdeno forcibly relaxed his fists again. As calm as he could possibly force himself to be, he said, "No, I don't enjoy being cursed to turn into a horrifying monster at a moment's notice when I get too emotional, and I don't enjoy that being near me inflicts that same curse on people I care about."

There was a beat of silence, and then Dillon was digging in his pocket for his phone again. "Okay, fuck that shit though, because like..."

He flicked through some pages on his phone and then shoved it at Zdeno. "What about this screams _horrifying monster_ to you?"

The room in the video was vaguely reminiscent of the safe room in Boston, in that both were rooms that contained padded walls and bears. That was where the similarities ended. The padding in the room was nicked in places where nails had caught it, but it wasn't torn to ribbons by swiping claws, and the bears – God, there were so many, of all sizes. Some were absolutely gigantic and the smallest – undoubtedly the aforementioned Mario – was an honest-to-God little bear cub. The cub was making a game of climbing one bear and then using it as a springboard to jump onto the back of another one, and the other bears just...took it. They lolled around lazily, nestled in sleeping piles or carefully grooming each other. One was chewing some sort of bone, but it looked far more like something from a deli than something freshly-killed, and another's face was stained purple from a full-sized Rubbermaid tote of mixed berries. And there was a fucking human next to the tote of berries, talking to the bear with a voice too low for the microphone to pick up, but from his expression he was highly unimpressed with the mess the bear was making.

In the video the cub continued its game of leaping from bear to bear until one finally rolled while the cub was on its back, pinning the cub under it. Zdeno's heart was in his throat, expecting the worst, but then the full-sized bear was dragging the cub towards its mouth and...giving it a bath.

"That's Erik Karlsson." Dilly's voice was startlingly close to his ear. "The boys let Mario have his fun, but when they want him to settle down someone grooms him until he gets sleepy and takes a nap."

The cub in the video indeed looks to be getting sleepy, but then a big red ball goes flying across the screen and the cub's eyes are wide as he strains and squirms in the older bear's grip, trying to chase it. The other bears let out a chorus of chuffs and grumbles, clearly displeased with whatever jokester off screen decided to pull that.

The video ended there, but Zdeno couldn't stop staring at the frozen screen.

He swallowed against the dryness in his throat. "I don't understand."

Dilly knocked their shoulders together companionably. "Well, how about you tell me what Boston was like, so we can compare?"

And so Zdeno did, telling him in hushed tones about the safe room, about warning the alternates of their role and giving them a chance to opt out, of the carnage that the bear brought to everything it touched, of the way your teammates wouldn't quite look you in the eye even if they liked you.

He kept his eyes on their new team, making sure that nobody was paying attention, that nobody could question what they were talking about. He wasn't looking at Dilly, but Zdeno could feel him getting tenser by the moment at his side.

When Zdeno finished speaking, Dilly said in a hoarse voice, "Why are you punishing yourselves?"

Zdeno blinked. "It's not punishing, it's-"

"-Keeping everyone safe? Yeah, but ask yourself: do you think the bears would always be so pissed off if they weren't locked in fucking _bear jail_ without any food or water or toys or friends or – like, shit, man, imagine sitting in that room for hours as a human, smelling, like, decades of other sad humans, don't you think you'd feel a little stir-crazy?"

As if someone else were speaking, Zdeno heard himself say, "It was always easier if someone else was with me."

"Like, shit, of course it was. I can't imagine doing it by yourself all the time. I did when I came here last season and it _sucked_ , that's why I was so hype to have you here too. Full-time bears are solitary but part-time bears aren't, and even if we were, we still wouldn't like being locked in the fucking _sensory deprivation room_. Why would you do that to yourselves?"

Dilly was getting keyed up now, far too agitated for a meet-and-greet on the first day of training camp. He was keeping his voice low enough, but Backstrom was sending them some dead-eyed stares that were too discerning for Zdeno's liking.

"It's just...it's how we were taught."

There was no better explanation for it. Zdeno still wasn't convinced that the bear was to be trusted – perhaps California bears lived up to the Californian stereotypes, but by that same virtue, Boston bears would be ready to get in a drunken fight with the first person they met.

But the video clearly showed that at least some bears could be calm around other bears, and around select humans. That some bears could actually _enjoy_ being bears, and wasn't that a horrifying thought.

Tommy Wingels's smile came to mind again, and Dilly too, that sheer excitement at meeting another bear, instead of the guilt and dread and shame when Zdeno realized that he'd infected another teammate.

He was socialized to hate the bear before he'd ever met it, just like every other Bruin. Just like every other Bruins _captain_ , and he was suddenly sure that Joe Thornton had been raised to hate the bear, too. Why would he want to go back to Boston and induct his replacement into that same terror that he'd felt, when he'd been busy creating a better way of life for himself in San Jose?

 _So that I wouldn't have spent the past fifteen years in hell_ , Zdeno thought. _So that I could have been happy, too_.

He wanted that suddenly, so desperately. He wanted to stop hating this part of himself, because the bear _was_ a part of himself now, whether he wanted it or not, and he knew it was never going away. Not for a captain. He didn't want to be so afraid of people getting too close, of controlling his emotions so that he didn't shift and kill people. He didn't want to be so afraid of himself.

And he didn't want that for Patrice either. Perhaps it was too late for Bourque and Allison and O'Reilly and Cashman and decades of captains who came before him, but Patrice could turn things around, for himself and for the kids coming up in the system now.

God, could it really be something as simple as how they socialized themselves?

Looking Dilly dead in the eyes, Zdeno said, "Show me how you do things."

And Dilly's face cracked into a wide smile. "Bear time, fuck yeah!"

...That was going to take some getting used to.

They agreed to meet up after the first day of camp wrapped up, because Dilly was missing "quality bear time" and Zdeno thought the bear would claw its way out of him if he didn't transform soon. They agreed to meet at Zdeno's, so that Dilly could "assess his setup," and Dilly would bring the "bear supplies."

Which apparently necessitated Zdeno answering questions about his favorite types of berries, his favorite cuts of beef and types of fish, and "his feelings on eating bugs."

"Don't knock it till you try it," Dilly said, before Zdeno could even begin to put together a response. "Like, some guys refuse to try because it sounds gross to the human-brain but bugs are a perfectly healthy part of a normal bear diet, and there is something so satisfying about cracking open a nice log and digging out the squirmy insides."

There was absolutely nothing appetizing about that statement, and Zdeno said that they would leave the bugs "for next time." That was apparently enough for Dilly, though it left Zdeno reeling at the fact that he'd volunteered that this would go well enough to happen more than once.

He was actually nervous about Dilly showing up. He couldn't explain why – as far as he knew the bear had never actually maimed new bears, even relatively foreign ones like Wingels – but it felt like something big was going to happen, and he wasn't sure he'd like it.

Dilly arrived with bags and bags of food, a large rubber ball, and a fucking tire.

"Bears love a good tire," he said, like that made sense. "Okay, show me your setup!"

The "setup" hadn't actually been set up yet, because Zdeno had yet to order the gym mats, and so it was still just a root cellar. Dilly took one step inside and then stepped right back out.

"Well that's fucking haunted."

"I have to get mats-"

"Dude, mats will only get you so far. It smells like moldy potatoes in there, and it's got like, one bare bulb. This is Bear Jail 2.0."

Zdeno grimaced, took a deep breath, relaxed his fists.

"Okay. Then what do you recommend?"

Dilly took a peek into the root cellar again like he was giving it a second chance, and then shook his head. "Yeah, no, not that. So, getting yourself a setup that's away from your normal furniture is a good choice because bears will accidentally destroy a bed or a couch because, y'know, claws."

He wiggled his fingers as if to remind Zdeno of where the claws came from.

"But you gotta think, you're building a den, right? Like a place that's cozy and warm and _dry_ and doesn't smell like sadness and old vegetables. Remember, we're not punishing the bear, we're trying to make a place for it to be comfortable. I totally get being afraid you might damage the walls or something, that's why we had pads up in San Jose, and Jumbo had like a special room all decked out in his basement that was just like the one at the arena. So do you have like, a heated garage, or a basement...?"

"The basement. We could..."

Dilly smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll make it work."

They'd do without the mats for now, though Dilly had brought some blankets and towels with him that reeked of the familiar scent of bear, even to Chara's human nose.

"From the boys back in San Jose," Dilly said, only half-apologetic. "It made being alone a little easier."

It struck Zdeno then, why Dilly wanted this to work so badly – he didn't want to be alone either.

"So, I know it feels a little weird but if we just leave the food out, the bears will figure it out. Bears can eat pretty much anything, and don't worry about cooking it, we don't need that. But you want a balanced diet, because wild bears actually do eat a lot of produce." He was laying things out as he spoke, unwrapping butcher's paper to reveal whole salmon and trout, thick red steaks and dark offal. Then came the berries and various greens and roots.

"I kind of got a bit of everything," Dilly said, sounding almost shy, "This is a bit of a feast but, y'know, it's your first time getting bear-turnt, so I wanted it to be special."

For a moment, Zdeno didn't know what to say. Giving Dilly a small, pleased smile, he said, "I thought bugs were the special occasion delicacy."

Dilly's face lit up. "They are! It's a big deal because you can't just go to the store and buy them – well, not the fun ones, anyways, and so you have to go foraging in the woods and that's like, super fun, but you have to be careful to make sure you've got human friends with you to keep you on track and not, like, wandering into someone's yard, y'know? Less because we're worried about the bears doing something and more because people in America love to shoot things."

And, well, Zdeno couldn't really argue with that.

Dilly patted his arm as if he thought Zdeno was disappointed. "Don't worry, we'll make some human bear-friends soon and then I can take you bug-hunting."

He said that like it was inevitable, like it made sense to bring humans into this, and part of Zdeno desperately wanted him to be right.

After the food and the few random toys were set up – one of which was a bucket, because apparently, like tires, "bears love a bucket" – Dilly said, "Okay, now we shift."

Zdeno had been feeling on-edge all day and it probably wouldn't take much, but at that exact moment he wasn't quite upset enough to transform. "Right now?"

Dilly shrugged. "Yeah? Whenever you want to."

"I'm not..."

At this point he should have been expecting the way Dilly frowned. "Dude, being emotional makes us more likely to shift but it's not like you have to be, like, super depressed to make it happen. You can do it voluntarily too. Just like...think bear thoughts."

And then as if to exemplify this, Dilly was gone and a large, shaggy brown bear was in his place.

Zdeno jumped backwards – he couldn't help it; it's what anyone would have done back in Boston, what he'd done hundreds of times with Patrice and Marchy and Krej and Ference and everyone, because he didn't want to get his hand bitten off. Coaxing a bear into the safe room was not for the faint of heart, because bears going to the safe room were _pissed_ -

The words _bear jail_ drifted through Zdeno's mind, spoken in Brenden Dillon's whisper, and suddenly it made a lot of sense why any animal would be angry and distressed to be forced into the safe room. Why they'd put up a fight trying to defend themselves, and therefore make themselves look dangerous and fearsome in the process.

The bear in front of him – _Dilly_ – was mostly just staring at him. Sniffing the air a little bit, making little whuffling sounds as he did, but nothing about his demeanor seemed aggressive. Curious, mostly, but not agitated.

Bears didn't usually remember the specifics of when they were transformed, but according to Dilly that was the appeal. "It's just like turning your brain off for a bit," he'd said. "Giving yourself a break from human stressors. A bear doesn't care if you allowed a bad turnover that cost the game. A bear just cares about like, sleeping and eating. And sometimes you can make your bear-self happy even if your human-self isn't."

It sounded nice, when he put it like that. Less like you were a mindless killing-machine and more...zen. Or, as Dilly put it, "super chill."

Zdeno didn't remember the specific moment that he shifted to the bear. He remembered smelling many bears, bears that were foreign but not distressed, not the screaming walls of the safe room. And he remembered feeling curious in his new environment, and calm, and sated, and he mostly remembered laying against another bear and reveling in the feeling of having a friend.

And when he came to, the dark red stains everywhere were berry juice, and the only thing that was damaged was the tire, which had definitely been gnawed on.

Dilly was stretching next to him, looking pleased with himself and far too cat-like for a bear, and Zdeno felt...fine. Content. _Normal_ , and not the awful soul-deep loathing and terror that came with assessing the damage post-shift and having to figure out what awful and horrifying things he'd done in his uncontrolled state.

"I'd say that went well," Dilly said, as if reading his mind. "Bugs next time, right?"

He clapped his hands together.

"We need to get ourselves a human friend."

Zdeno needed to call Patrice and have an intervention, tell him about his new revelations, maybe fly up to Boston to show him in person because he knew Patrice wouldn't believe him without evidence.

But sure. They could get a human friend too.

"But you can't just walk up to someone and tell them we're bears," he warned.

Apparently it bore stating aloud, because Dilly looked rather disappointed. "I think Osh and Ovi would totally go for it."

They definitely would, but Zdeno wasn't sure he was ready to help instigate the beloved new children's classic _Sasha and the Bear_.

"Let me think on it."

He spent the rest of training camp assessing his teammates, not just for their skill on the ice, but for how well he thought they'd take the news that some of their teammates were...part-time bears. But to even understand that, they'd likely have to know a bit about team secrets, about the things that the older teams carried with them through the generations.

They'd have to be someone who was calm, loyal, reliable, trustworthy. Someone who could be firm, if they were to redirect two large bears, and brave enough to stand up to them. Someone who was perhaps excited by the prospect of bears, who could smile the way that Tommy Wingels and Dilly did instead of sinking into guilt and despair like Zdeno, but someone who was old enough and mature enough to have some discretion.

At the end of training camp, Dilly skated over to Zdeno on the ice, bumped their shoulders together.

"We'll want to go bug hunting before they all go underground for the winter," he said. "Did you think of anyone yet?"

Zdeno nodded.

He waited until he got home that night before he made the call.

"Henke, can I come over? I know you were complaining about being bored this season, so I have a proposition for you..."

**Author's Note:**

> ETA: It's important for me to emphasize to you guys that the Bruins didn't treat bears the way they did because they're awful and scary and mean etc etc, it's about how they were socialized. They were taught from the start that being a bear is this terrible curse upon your line and it's the cross you have to bear for wanting to care for and lead this team. That was the INTENT after all, for the bear to be a punishment. So everyone on this team walked in being told that the bear is a big scary thing that they have to deal with and manage and that it's a terrible responsibility and you should be thankful your captains took it on to protect you but also you have to be careful because it could spread to you too. And management is aware of the bear but isn't fond of having their players be bears, and so they definitely encourage the idea of "being a bear is not cool or fun and you all should avoid the bears and be thankful that you aren't one."  
> So they treated the bears like these mindless terrible beasts that would try to kill and destroy whatever they saw, and so they never thought to give the bears things that might make the happy, like food and toys and love. I compare it to Buffy-style werewolves - they didn't think these were creatures that COULD be placated. And so it's a Huge Deal the first time they try to experiment and like, toss bear!Bergy some fish and berries and they're like oh shit he's just like eating them? and now he's putting the bucket on his head?? and he's rolling around on his back like a giant lovable scamp and he doesn't want to kill us at all?? like they are SHOOK with this revelation, and also relieved that they can stop fearing each other.  
> tldr this isn't a Bruins hate fic, they're victimized by the way they were socialized but Z is going to Set Them Straight
> 
> I'm [swedishgoaliemafia on Tumblr.](https://swedishgoaliemafia.tumblr.com/)


End file.
